Who is Jake Noir?

Jake Noir is the nom de guerre of a hyperintelligent multidimensional cat.  He has condescended to help his human minions out, as long as they keep the wet cat flood flowing.  When asked why, he smiles broadly and indicates that our pitiful efforts to understand the universe amuse him.


Jake Noir, watching Brasil as it wins the 2019 Copa America.

Most online betting firms have come to rely on his Gato Negro Analytics algorithm to set their betting lines.


I asked him to explain his approach one day. After watching him sit still for five minutes I mentioned that if it was too difficult, I could just look it up. He said that he was just having trouble dumbing it down enough so that a human could understand.   Heaving a sigh, he started in.  He got to the Hodge conjecture and how it informs his choice for the over-under, but lost me when he started trashing the CDK cohomology argument which he vehemently characterizes as irrelevant and distracting.  I had a drink and he had some wet cat food and we were ok after that.

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